The desire to belong is a universal human experience. In high school, this feeling often revolves around fitting into a social group or clique, navigating complex social dynamics to find your tribe. As adults, especially in our professional lives, that same need for connection persists—but it evolves into something much more impactful. Being part of a professional organization offers a deeper sense of purpose and belonging than the high school cliques we once craved, shaping not only our careers but also our personal growth.
In high school, the need to fit in can feel overwhelming. Many of us spent those years trying to conform to the norms of a particular group, whether it was based on interests, fashion, or social status. Fitting in was often about blending into a mold, seeking approval, and avoiding standing out in ways that could make us feel isolated or different.
Fast forward to adulthood, and the dynamic changes—especially in professional organizations. Take, for example, the Colorado Mortgage Lenders Association (CMLA). Here, belonging is not about blending in but rather about standing out. The more unique your contributions, the more value you bring to the group. Belonging is based on what you can offer, and your individuality is celebrated as part of the collective strength.
High school friendships often form around shared classes, extracurricular activities, or similar social interests. While some of these relationships can be deeply meaningful, many are fleeting, based on proximity rather than shared purpose. The desire to belong in high school can sometimes lead to superficial connections, where the main goal is to avoid being left out.
In contrast, belonging to CMLA is rooted in purpose. Whether it’s advancing the mortgage industry, staying ahead of regulatory changes, or helping colleagues navigate the challenges of a career, the connections you make are built on substance. These relationships often run deeper because they’re formed around shared goals, collaboration, and mutual support.
High school is a time when most people are still trying to figure out who they are and where they fit in. Belonging to a group can provide a sense of identity during a time of self-discovery, but it can also come with pressure to conform and limit self-expression.
As professionals, the focus shifts from figuring out who you are to growing into the best version of yourself. CMLA gives you the opportunity to continuously learn, challenge yourself, and expand your skills. The sense of belonging isn’t about locking into a fixed identity—it’s about embracing a journey of lifelong growth and development alongside peers who support and encourage that process.
In high school, the pressure to fit into a certain social group can be intense. Peer pressure often dictates what you wear, how you speak, and even how you think, leading to a desire to conform, sometimes at the expense of your true self.
At CMLA, however, the dynamics are reversed. Peer empowerment replaces peer pressure. Rather than forcing conformity, professional groups encourage innovation, leadership, and personal growth. In CMLA, members lift each other up, share knowledge, and empower one another to succeed. It’s not about keeping up with appearances or meeting social expectations; it’s about building each other up to achieve greater heights.
The connections made in high school, though important at the time, often don’t last beyond those formative years. As life takes you in different directions, the shared experiences that once held friendships together may fade.
While the desire to belong starts early in life, the way we experience it evolves as we grow. What once might have been about fitting in to avoid being different becomes, in adulthood, about belonging with purpose. In high school, belonging was often about surviving socially. Now, it’s about thriving professionally. Being part of something bigger in your professional life offers the chance to be surrounded by like-minded people who push you to be better and who share your goals of making a difference. That’s the real power of belonging.
At the heart of belonging is the feeling that you are working toward something meaningful. When you join a group or organization, you’re no longer navigating life alone—you’re part of a collective effort. Whether it’s advancing a cause, driving innovation in your field, or simply sharing a common interest, there’s an energy that comes from being part of something that aligns with your values. That shared purpose fuels motivation and keeps you inspired to keep pushing forward.
Think about the Mortgage Leadership Program (MLP) or the sense of community in a professional organization like the Colorado Mortgage Lenders Association (CMLA). Being surrounded by others who are equally passionate about the mortgage industry creates a dynamic atmosphere where growth, learning, and collaboration thrive.
So, I encourage you to take the next step and join the next “group” within the CMLA. Join a Forum. Join the Mortgage Leadership Program. Join one of the Committees. I promise you, you will not regret It!
Betty Knecht
CMLA Executive Director